So i guess i’e been stuffing from depression for a year or more now building up since i was little, just i’ve only just picked up on it, and decided i need help in the past 3 months, since my long term boyfriend broke up with me, i was too much for him, so we didnt talk for about 2 months, now he is back in my life, really close friends, so the story goes like this, i wanna go back out with him, but he doesnt want me yet. He says he needs me better before we can go out. I’e tried to kill myself many times, many times he thinks its cause of him, i put him through so much, sometimes he cant handle it, and says horrible things to me and just wants to leave. Im at the point where, what can help him be able to handle me better and help me, and ideas that i can do to help myself, so he will want me again? Another thing he wants is for me to accept things (when he says no to something, like hanging out, i cry and get really upset and refuse to leave like i cant accept he said no) + let him go out with his friends alone. So i’m really worried and scared about him going out with friends, im normally okay with him going out with just guys alone, but his group has chicks in it, along with his ex, and i just dont trust them, and when they are drunk. But when he is out, i normally have an anxiety attack, and start stressing, and crying, and feeling sick about what he is doing, i call him, i then wanna kill myself. He says he doesnt want me if i cant change this, i really need/want to be able to let him go out, but i get so worried and stressed, and i dont know what to do anymore? It doesnt help that ive seen pics on facebook of his group when he hasnt gone and its not nice, they are all over each other, normally his ex is all over everyone and takes her clothes off when drunk. + He has never really been drunk, so i dont know what he is like when he is drunk either, plus he gives in to peer pressure so easily. ): Even just the thought of him going out with another girl, even if it is in a group thing. I seriously need help with thiss? + Another thing is, his ex, his best friend, they went out for like 3 weeks, never did anything, only hang out thats why they are best friends now and not weird or anything. So i actually cant stand her, she just gets to me so much? She is rude and doesnt want me dating him, but he doesnt see that she is bad sometimes to me? another thing is, she gets me so upset, like seeing her name on facebook, seeing a text from her on his phone, seeing her post on his wall, on other peoples wall, knowing that they are talking heaps, i just get sick in the tummy, and start having an anxiety attack? I need someones help pleasee? Its been alot better since she deleted me, but still why does this only happen with her when i know they are never gunna date again! I dont know how to tell my psychologist this either. p.s Lately ive been having an anxiety attack every night, either before i sleep, or ill wake up during the night. I seriously dont know how much i can handle this hurt and pain for? Please someone help?